Was is pain!

24th of February 2022 – the day that change the lives of everyone in Ukraine. Our family dreamed of future plans, but the war operated its own adjustments to the destinies of each of us. On the 27th of April 2022, we started a new life, with new trials. The decision to move to a new country – of going nowhere, in fact – was a hard one. The pain in my heart, my fear for my young daughter, for her survival, gave me the strength to decide.

In two months of war, I only slept a few hours each night – and shed so many tears of fear for what was happening and what might happen. We went down into the bomb shelter and dug a second exit, so we could leave in case a bomb hit our home. The only animals that could be saved were pets and those that were easy to transport, which is sad if you think about it, but their company helped the children not cry in the basement. Each siren caused panic and fear, the expectation of grief. 

Like others, we bought food in immense quantities, the fear of hunger controlling our mind. We went to every pharmacy, buying the medication that our parents’ lives depended on. Everyone’s nerves were hanging by a thread. Logistics was complicated.

My husband and I have been together for 20 years and our only child is our three-year old daughter. She is what we have dreamed of all our lives, our happiness, a gift from God! One day before we decided to leave the country, our baby girl heard the roaring of bombs out the window and described them by saying “Mum, bang-bang!” She hid under the blankets, frightened to tears. One hour later, we heard from the news that a bomb hit a block of flats and killed a whole family with a three-month-old child. That was the last drop that tipped the balance of our family decision. I realised it was my responsibility to take my child somewhere safe.

During the night, as if on autopilot, I packed up two travel bags. One held only my daughter’s favourite toys, the other contained necessaries. Both were of equal importance for our journey. Only two suitcases, because her and I were the only ones to leave. My husband works in the military, so he stayed behind to defend our homeland.

After a fifteen-hour bus ride, we were greeted by wonderful Bucharest in sunny Romania, where we could see the sky above us. It was what I wanted for my little girl.

We reached the bus station at 3 a.m. and we were very frightened. Friends were waiting for us there, which was reassuring. Some things balance themselves out. The ones who helped soothe our inner fear were the volunteers, who, at such a hard time in our lives, were able to give us hope and confidence in a new future, one without tears. So it was that we got to a Romanian company whose employees helped us so much, with a shelter, food and employment, and allowed us to take along my parents, who are 70 years old and have health issues. That was a very painful aspect.

There are five of us living here now: me, my parents, my mother-in-law, and my nine-year-old niece. Her parents stayed in Ukraine. But she’s not alone. We’re here for her. Her father couldn’t leave his country, and her mother can’t leave her parents behind.

This is a trial for everyone, but the main thing is that each day is full of new emotions, new experiences, and the fear in our children’s eyes is gone. Now there is faith in a bright future, in being open to the WORLD soon!

Parting with our dear ones is hard, but we don’t have the right to make mistakes now. We must cut out risks, we are strong, we will manage!

We are deeply grateful – to Romania as a country and to its government for the support it gave us in such difficult circumstances, to all the people who help us with kind words and trust in a brighter future!

As parents, we are so happy to see our children smiling and safe – that is the most important thing!

Testimony donated to the Museum of Abandonment by Svitlana, for the Abandonment Baggage campaign. This project is financed by CARE through the Sera Foundation, Care France, and FONPC.